title: We Have Ruined Childhood
url: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/17/opinion/sunday/childhood-suicide-depression-anxiety.html
hash_url: 4d8631dabdb64bb007d29b23ae07370f

<p class="css-exrw3m evys1bk0">Many parents and pediatricians speculate about the role that screen time and social media might play in this social deficit. But it’s important to acknowledge that simply taking away or limiting screens is not enough. Children turn to screens because opportunities for real-life human interaction have vanished; the public places and spaces where kids used to learn to be people have been decimated or deemed too dangerous for those under 18.</p><p class="css-exrw3m evys1bk0">And so for many Americans, the nuclear family has become a lonely institution — and childhood, one long unpaid internship meant to secure a spot in a dwindling middle class.</p><p class="css-exrw3m evys1bk0">Something has to change, says Denise Pope, a co-founder of <a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="http://www.challengesuccess.org/" title="" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Challenge Success,</a> an organization based in Palo Alto, Calif., that helps schools make research-backed changes to improve children’s mental health. Kids need recess. They need longer lunches. They need free play, family time, meal time. They need less homework, fewer tests, a greater emphasis on social-emotional learning.</p><p class="css-exrw3m evys1bk0">Challenge Success also works with parents, encouraging them to get together with their neighbors and organize things like extracurricular-free days when kids can simply play, and teaching them how <em class="css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0">not</em> to intervene in normal peer conflict so that children can build problem-solving skills themselves. A similar organization, <a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="https://letgrow.org/schools/" title="" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Let Grow</a>, helps schools set up unstructured free play before and after the school day. </p><p class="css-exrw3m evys1bk0">Dr. Gray told me it’s no surprise that the program, which he consults for, has been well received. “Children are willing to get up an hour early to have free play, one hour a week,” he said. “It’s like a drop of water if you’ve been in the desert.”</p><p class="css-exrw3m evys1bk0">These groups are doing important work, but if that kind of desperation is any indication, we shouldn’t be surprised that so many kids are so unhappy. Investing in a segment of the population means finding a way to make them both safe and free. When it comes to kids, we too often fall short. It’s no wonder so many are succumbing to despair. In many ways, America has given up on childhood, and on children.</p>
